Gymgoer gets stuck under heavy bench press, entitled woman refuses to help him: 'Not being able to help lift it off is one thing. Not going to look for help and just let you lay there is another'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Dec 30, 2025 10:00 AM EST

We should all work on being better bystanders. It's just as important as trying to do good deeds. If you're around someone who needs help and you don't help them or find someone who can, then you're probably not a great person. Sure, we didn't sign up to be in that situation, but if someone needs help, there is a social contract we should all try to adhere to. It doesn't matter if you'd rather be doing something else. It doesn't matter if you're in your own world. If you can help someone, you should. 

There is also a different kind of social contract at the gym. The gym is its own ecosystem, with rules that we should all try to abide by. They're not always expressly written somewhere, and sometimes we have to intuit them. You try not to hog the equipment, you wipe down the machines after you use them, and you, in general, try to be a good neighbor. The world runs a little smoother when we're all conscious of each other, and the gym is a place where a lot can go wrong. The machinery can be dangerous, and human bodies are fallible. We should all be looking out for each other. But one woman didn't quite understand that, and instead chose to be in her own bubble instead of doing the obvious thing and coming to someone's rescue. Safety is the most important tenet of the gym, and this woman disregarded that of her fellow gymgoer. 

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  • A man struggles with a bench press
    via Shoham Avisrur

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • There is a lot we can do to keep ourselves safe at the gym. If we're going in for a risky lift, we should always have a spotter. You never know if you might need it. But we're not in the habit of blaming the victim around here if something does go wrong. Especially if there are people around who can help. That's what was put to the test in this story, where one man's poor choices could have landed him in the hospital. And when he looked around for some assistance, he couldn't find it. Read on to see what happened here. 

  • I got stuck under a bench press and the only other person in the room refused to help and just left me there.

    Probably one of the dumbest things I've ever experienced. I'm sort of a newbie at the gym and today tried to work on my bench press (which I had done before) but I made what I now know is a rookie mistake of using the little clips at the end. During what was my last set, I tried to push myself to do another rep and suddenly my arms just gave out. The bar landed on my chest (ouch) and I grabbed
    via u/Numerous_Birds
  • it again in time before it landed on my neck. I realized in a bit of horror that I couldn't push it off of me. This had never happened to me before so I was actually pretty scared. I looked around and thank God there was a woman - maybe in her early 40s - like 3 feet away using a
    via u/Numerous_Birds
  • machine and with no headphones. I got her attention and told her I was stuck and that I needed help. She looked at me like I was crazy and said "I'm sorry I can't help you, I can't lift that" and WENT BACK TO DOING HER EXERCISE. I literally was like "please help me, I'm actually stuck" and again she was like "sorry I can't help you" and kept working out. I was so shocked.
    via u/Numerous_Birds
  • I tried again to push it off but I couldn't. Then, by total chance, a random gym bro walked into that part of the gym, immediately recognized what was happening, and helped me get free right away. I thanked him profusely. Then I look over and that lady is still just doing her little pull downs like nothing had happened.
    via u/Numerous_Birds
  • Edit: thank you for the support. I really was shaken up about it actually lol. Also thank you for all the gym advice. Ideally, one shouldn't need a stranger's help if you take the right precautions which I'll share for the fellow gym noobs like myself:
    via u/Numerous_Birds
  • Have a spotter when using the bench press especially if you're planning on challenging yourself; if you're alone, don't use the clips so, in case of emergency, you can slide the weights off one by one; if someone does come to help, one option is you can widen your grip and the person can at least take the weights off the bar one side at a time; lastly, you can slowly slide the bar to your hips and then stand and then safely set down on the ground (deadlift form). Safe lifting out there!
    via u/Numerous_Birds
  • A woman works out at the gym
    via Michael Faix

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Commenters came in with their ideas and opinions.

    linkysnow In the future, try and rest the bar on your chest, move one hand over, and lift one side.
    via u/linkysnow
  • GLG777 Not being able to help lift it off is one thing. Not going to look for help and just let you lay there is another.
    via u/GLG777
  • MsWonderWonka What a psychopath! That's fucked up man. Some people have no empathy. It's shocking.
    via u/MsWonderWonka
  • tu... It's important to know your escape plan before you need it. No clips and dumping plates is valid. Roll of shame is too, but you need to know as soon as you realise it's not going back on the rack to aim it on your chest so you can roll the bar to your thighs and stand up.
    via u/tubbyx7
  • Worst thing you can do is panic and launch it for the lower hooks if you have them, miss and its full weight landing on your throat or head.
    via u/tubbyx7
  • GhostPantherAssu... ....I can't help you. So you leave him there? Compassion instincts of a fucking rock man jfc
    via u/GhostPantherAssualt
  • wi... She had no idea how dangerous that was, but you should not be lifting without a capable spotter in the room. Nevertheless, typically you don't have to lift the whole weight yourself, but provide assistance or at very least tip it off of you.
    via u/wivaca2
  • Thank your lucky stars gym bro walked in. I'm actually mad at this stranger and to not try to help would be unthinkable to me, but from legal standpoint most states don't criminalize bystanders for failing to act, even if they could have helped. I just can't fathom someone not at least going to find someone to help. Were you shouting for help, or just asking nicely and sitting there in calm desperation?
    via u/wivaca2
  • KaiAusBerlin In Germany that would be a crime called "unterlassene Hilfeleistung". Not helping someone in Danger is a crime here. She didn't have to lift the bar. But looking for help around the gym could be the bare minimum.
    via u/KaiAusBerlin
  • steelunicornR I'd talk to a manager, sorry if you are willing to let someone sit there and not even offer ANY form of help, you are willing to let someone die. She could have given you your phone or something at least. Most if not all gyms have "emergency buttons" and they go right to emergency service that knows how and what to do.
    via u/steelunicornR
  • OMGlenn Wow that chick was a soulless husk.
    via u/OMGlenn
  • xxInsanex Some people just have zero empathy For future reference if that ever happens to you again role the bar down your body, tense your body so the weight doeant feel like its crushing your sternum OR put one hand at the end of the bar and push it off to one side, you dont need to push the whole weight it just needs to get off balanced to fall over
    via u/xxInsanex
  • Caffeinated_chaos... Omg. I personally wouldn't be able to help you but I could go find someone to help you.
    via u/Caffeinated_chaos_au
  • Klutzy-Pie6557 I've done the same - had to roll it down my chest until it was over my waist and then I was able to lift it off. That one last rep and the bloody arms give out!
    via u/Klutzy-Pie6557
  • -Kalos Rule 1 in gym: Safety first Never lift heavy without a spotter
    via u/-Kalos
  • Sad_Donut_7902 If you fail bench you can get out of it two separate ways. 1. Tilt the bar down to one side until it hits the ground and then roll off the bench in the other direction. 2. Shimmy/roll the bar down your torso to your lap then sit up and throw the bar from your lap to the ground.
    via u/Sad_Donut_7902
  • Scarletleaves NL Look, its fair she can't help you lift that weight but she could have at least gone searching for someone to help you. That girl is a that.
    via u/ScarletleavesNL
  • WiteKngt Your mistake wasn't using the clips. It was either using too much weight or trying to get that one extra rep. You'll learn when that point is, hopefully not too far in the future.
    via u/WiteKngt

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